Questions
by HBfan26
Summary: After much, much delay, chapter 3 is up!
1. Chapter 1

_I woke up at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep…this is the result! It's a short one- shot set at the end of 'Endgame' and contains spoilers for various episodes from seasons 1,2 &3. Sorry for any glaring mistakes, but it was the middle of the night!_

**Questions.**

"_Agent Malone, how many people in total are in the FBI missing persons unit?" _

That was one of the first questions they asked him. Reporters, journalist, bloodhounds, there were dozens of them waiting outside the hospital. They surrounded him as he made his way out of the emergency unit towards his car.

Samantha had stayed, waited for information, but he needed to give a statement, to find out what happened. To keep it together.

"…_..how many people in total?"_

Danny, Vivian, Samantha, Martin. And Jack.

Five people, one team. A good team, maybe the best he'd ever worked with.

Until Samantha got shot… and for a while, it had been touch and go. No-one knew what was happening, until they got her out, brought her to the hospital. She was so pale and had lost a lot of blood. He'd felt guilty, even though he knew guilt was useless, she wanted to be there, she'd volunteered. She knew what she was getting herself in for. But it had also been the end, the very end of them, of their relationship.

Danny, Vivian, Martin. And Jack.

It quickly became clear though, that Samantha would be ok, the bullet wound was deep, but hadn't touched anything vital. And she recovered really quickly, all things considered. Samantha was tough, Jack knew that when he hired her and after some initial awkwardness, she was back and things went back to normal.

Danny, Vivian, Samantha, Martin. And Jack.

Again.

Then Vivian got sick. At first nobody noticed. She hid it well, dismissing all questions about tablets and doctors appointments. Until Samantha asked her directly what was wrong, and she had to tell her.

Then everyone else realised, knew that something was wrong, and each person was concerned, Vivian was important to them all, maybe for different reasons, but she was the one that they all trusted the most, the one they knew would never betray their secrets.

So they were worried but typical Viv, she tried to pass it off, said it was nothing serious.

She knew herself though that something was badly wrong. When she found out that it was her heart, that she was indeed really sick, she took it in her usual manner. Stoic, Keeping a brave face for her husband, for Reggie. For herself, because she couldn't think about the alternative.

Brushing off all offers of help, all concerns that she was overdoing it. Not because she wasn't grateful but because it was simply the only way that she could deal with it at the time.

When she collapsed behind the car that day for a split second Jack thought the worst. He was genuinely scared. And later on, when she went in to the operating theatre they all went about their work, but every one of them prayed silently, each in their own way.

Danny, Samantha Martin. And Jack.

So they carried on, they had missing persons to find and they couldn't spend all their time waiting to hear if Vivian was ok.

They solved the case, but it wasn't the happiest of endings and as Danny and Martin brought Teno into custody, Jack slipped away quietly.

He wasn't going to go in at first, he didn't want to be there if…well if anything happened, to be in the way of family and friends.

And even though he wouldn't admit it to himself, he didn't want to face her husband, to see the fear in Reggie's eyes. That was his Mom in the operating theatre after all.

But in the end he did go because Vivian Johnson was his right hand 'man' and he knew his team wasn't the same without her.

And because she was a friend.

So Jack went the hospital, waited in the corridor until after the operation and felt a surge of relief when he was told the good news. He wanted to tell the others, knew that they were worried too.

Fist Sam, then Danny.

"_Her husband said that it was touch and go for a while." _

That's what he told Danny on the phone, she was ok, she was going to make it. Relief. Silent prayers of thanks. But it was going to take a while to recover, heart operations were serious things.

But she'd be back. He knew it. Soon they would be back to full strength.

Danny, Vivian, Samantha, Martin. And Jack.

Five persons, a team.

But only for a little while. Only for about 15 minutes. Because fifteen minutes later, still standing in that hospital corridor a call came though for him.

"…_.A shooting…..3 victims, one black male and two FBI officers… one Caucasian, one Hispanic…Jack, it's Taylor and Fitzgerald……no further information…not official but we thought you'd like to know…emergency vehicles on the scene…keep you informed."_

No further information. None needed. He knew. And for a moment Jack thought this his own heart had stopped.

Samantha was walking down the hall, calling in to see if Viv was ok, just like Jack had, not telling anyone she was going, just arriving on her way home, on the spur of the moment.

Jack stood, the phone in his hand, the line disconnected. Standing in front of the window, looking in on Vivian lying there asleep. Turning to see Samantha walking down the corridor. Looking at the phone again, the information registering itself in his mind.

"Jack, what's wrong. Is Viv ok?"

Viv? Of course Viv, who else could it be. The operation had been serious, It was likely that something could have gone wrong. But it hadn't, it wasn't Vivian. Not this time.

Vivian, Samantha. And Jack.

Samantha had a right to know. They were her fellow officers, her friends, her former… lover?...boyfriend? Jack knew that it was over now, but he didn't know how long.

"There's been a shooting. Danny & Martin were involved. I don't know any more. They didn't tell me anything else."

Even as he spoke, as he said the words to Samantha, standing there in the hospital corridor looking at Agent Johnson asleep in the Post-Op room, it sounded surreal, like someone else was saying the words.

_A shooting…Danny…Martin…_

Vivian, Samantha. And Jack…..

"_Agent Malone, how many people in total are in the FBI missing persons unit?"_……….


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay, I swore this would just be one chapter but you all persuaded me to do a second one! Remember, it may contain Season 4 spoilers…you have been warned!_

**Chapter 2 – Guilt**

"_Agent Taylor, how long have you and Agent Fitzgerald worked together?"_

How long? A year and a half? No more. Not long enough either. Not long enough to sit here in this hospital room, not long enough to help him forget the sound of his partner's heart stop and the relief of the paramedic who revived him.

Not long enough.

He could still remember that sound of the bullets breaking the windscreen of the car, and yet because he couldn't actually see them, it didn't seem real.

It had been a crappy day, everyting that could go wrong had gone wrong, they were all tense, anxious, worried about Viv, they knew it was a serious operation, knew that she might not survive.

And then Jack had called, not something he would usually do, they didn't even know he was at the hospital.

He's been happy, relieved to hear that Viv was ok. '……_Ending the day on an up note'_

How could he be so stupid? How could he think that just for once things would go their way, Viv would get better and they would solve this case and then things would go on as normal?

What happened, it was more like a dream sequence than an actual event. There was nothing, just noise, shouts, someone yelled 'GET DOWN' and then he waited for the impact, waited for the sudden jarring of metal against flesh, the initial shock, feeling nothing, not believing it had happened, then sudden realisation, and with realisation, pain.

But first there had been pain, and that's when he knew he really wasn't injured. In the silent aftermath, when the van pulled off and they were left there covered in glass…and Danny Taylor's head hurt, and when he put his hand up there was blood, lots of blood. But not enough blood for anything other than a graze.

And that was all. He was ok, and Martin was still sitting up beside him. They were ok, somehow and for some miraculous reason that was totally unexplainable they had not been badly injured.

Sure a bullet had creased his forehead and it was gonna hurt a lot when it was being stitched, but that was all. Wasn't it?

But if that was all, why was Martin looking at him that way? The expression on his face, disbelief, a strange out of body look, like he was outside looking down on himself. Danny couldn't figure it out.

"Martin?"

He remembered calling his partner's name, putting out a hand to Martin's jacket.

And then he saw the blood.

So much blood, it was creeping down the front of Martin's jacket and there was a little pool of it starting to form on the seat.

Blood, disbelief, shock. Martin.

Shot….

He had to move, he had to get help, he, Danny. He was alive, he was ok, he could help, he need to do something……Jack, Sam, Viv..no wait…Viv was in the hospital…an ambulance, he had to get an ambulance.

Move! He had to move……

"I need an ambulance NOW! Then he remembered his cell phone. _Officer down. Officer shot…….can you please contact Agent Jack Malone._

He was calm on the phone all the while trying to get Martin's door open, but he was calm. Tell Jack, Jack would want to know, he would help…why won't the goddamned door open?

And then he was reaching into the driver seat and pulling Martin out, down onto the ground and there was still so much blood. He didn't know what to do but he had to stop the bleeding, Martin was conscious, looking at Danny, but his eyes were vacant, blank.

"…_how long have you and Agent Fitzgerald been partners?"_

Dammit, long enough to recognise that he was dying. Two bullet wounds, that's why there was so much blood. Two entry points, two shots, both at point blank range, both of them intended to kill.

To kill both of them, Martin and Danny. Someone wanted them both to die, to die there in that car in the rain. Just like that.

A team. Five people. Jack, Viv, Sam Martin, Danny.

Together they could solve any case if they tried hard enough and they could console each other when things went wrong.

Together. But not now, and not earlier when he was kneeling on the ground in the rain with his partner on the ground beside him dying. Not even when Jack ran over and had to pull him away because his legs refused to work and he was afraid to leave, afraid that if he took his eyes of Martin then he wouldn't see him again.

He couldn't. If he left him, he would die. Didn't Jack understand? Didn't Jack see that it was his fault because Martin was the one who yelled to get down, Martin warned him, and Martin was going to die?

It would be his fault, he, Danny Taylor, it had to be. He hadn't seen them in time, hadn't realised. He could have done something, couldn't he? Couldn't he?

And the funny thing is that he hadn't even liked Martin that much. Back in the beginning, he resented him. Hell who wouldn't?

Son of the Deputy Director's who just happened to land prestigious place in probably the most elite MPU in the country, hell, maybe in the world? And the only track record he had was two years in white collar crime? And then there was the Maggie Cartwright fiasco? I mean come on; who did he think he was?

So he didn't trust him, even when Samantha and Viv and even Jack did, Danny didn't. But then time passed, and some important cases were solved, Martin was good, he was good at interrogating people, he was good at mentally retracing people's steps.

And the two of them worked well together, although neither of them would ever admit it…they bounced off each other, maybe it was simple male competitiveness, or each of them had gaps that the other person filled. Whatever.

"…_.Uncle Danny coming round, shooting some hoops…." _Martin and Sam. Probably not the smartest move in the book, what would he say to her? "Yeah I'm fine, Sam not so sure about Marty though."…

Guilt. What a ridiculous emotion. Guilt can eat you up; guilt can take a hold of your heart and freeze it so that you end up allowing no other emotions in and eventually guilt gets replaces with bitterness.

And now he's lying there and I know he's alive. For now.

"_How long have you and Agent Fitzgerald worked together?"_

Not long enough, so you just hang on Rookie, do you hear me?


	3. Chapter 3

_Agent Spade, is it true that you and Agent Fitzgerald were in a relationship?_

Yes, no, they were in a relationship. Sort of. For a while. They were seeing each other, spending time together, sleeping together.

'_You make me happy'_. What a stupid thing to say. '_You make me happy'_…..So what? Plenty of things made her happy, blueberry pancakes with ice-cream, winning the poker game at Christmas time.

Martin made her happy.

Until it ended. Until he ended it.

He sat there at his desk and told her it was over, that he didn't want to wait around for her to figure out her problems. Right?

Why couldn't she get angry then. He chickened out, right? He wasn't willing to put in the effort, wasn't willing to wait……

But no matter how many times she said it, or how she tried to justify it, she knew it wasn't about that, Martin knew that she was looking for a way out, subconsciously and he was good enough to give her one, to allow her to hate him and maybe then she wouldn't hate herself so damn much.

No-one really knows that its over; Danny, he didn't know, he doesn't know. She was grateful to him, grateful for the way he tried to protect her, telling her he was ok, that everything was going to be fine, when it clearly wasn't, when he was so worried himself that he couldn't think straight, still he held it together for her, and what did she do, she brushed him away, rejected him.

He's in shock, she knew that, and she knew too that he probably saved Martin's life, but somehow, somehow she doesn't want help, feels like the pain she is feeling is warranted somehow. Maybe Danny felt that way too.

Viv knew, she always seemed to know, its like she has some kind of second sense, she knew when they were going out and she knew they broke up and she never said anything.

Vivian didn't approve though; not because we worked together but because she knew how they both were, knew that it wouldn't last. But did she realise just how quickly it would be all over? One moment they were sharing secret looks and glances, then they were sharing a bed and sitting on her front step reading the newspaper and the next he's sitting there saying he couldn't wait for her anymore?

_Breath in, breath out……. _It wasn't coming naturally to her anymore.

Damn you Martin Fitzgerald.

Oh Viv, where are you now. She needed a voice of reason, someone to tell her to snap out of it, that there was nothing she could do, she couldn't undo the past, couldn't change what happened. Now there was only Danny, Jack and Sam. Three out of five. And Danny was in enough pain without adding hers. Jack.

What could she say to Jack? _Martin and I broke up a while ago, we're not seeing each other anymore, but I still feel………._ What did she feel? What was it that was drawing her to his hospital bed, what was it that was making her promise that she'd be there for him, that things would be different?

Sam and Martin, when they were together they shared a lot of things, but at the end of the day they still knew very little about each other. She still didn't quite understand Martin's relationship with his family, didn't know what happened in the past, and she never told him her story, never told him about her mother, about running away, not really.

Mind you she hadn't told Jack either.

Jack and I, Martin and I…

That was the whole problem, that's been the problem all along, 2 men from the same office. That kind of thing it doesn't go down well, people talk, they make assumptions, they keep away.

That was why, that was why they couldn't get close, why they couldn't tell anyone, why…

….who was she kidding?

Information shared was control lost. That had always been her way.

And anyhow Martin always wore the same collection of striped ties with every suit and he read books that required a dictionary and a thesaurus before they began to make sense and he arranged his sock drawer by colour and type, he always washed up the dishes before eating his dinner and he knew things that no-one should, about alien abduction theories and strange computer codes and all kinds of other weird stuff. And they all hated him in the beginning, didn't they?

But there was so much that had been good about it……he never, ever, once in all the time they were together asked her for anything. And no matter how much she pushed him away he was still there, rock solid, ready to pick her up and dust her off. And even afterwards, when it ended and it was just Jack and Danny and Viv and martin and Sam, she knew he'd still get up at 3am and drive across down if she wanted.

"_You wanted me to fight harder, didn't you?"_

"_It shouldn't have to be a fight." _

It wasn't a fight, that wasn't what she had meant, it was just that in the beginning he was like her, cautious, careful, he wasn't used to getting close to people and neither was she so what happened, at what point did he suddenly decide that everyone had to know, that he wanted to show her off like some damn prize trophy. She just wasn't ready, you know, She couldn't let everyone know, not yet.

_It shouldn't have to be a fight._

So that's why I'm sitting here Martin, and you know I've never been so scared in me entire life. And I know its over and I know that you don't love me anymore, and I don't know if I ever even loved you, but this time I think it's worth the fight.

I'll fight Martin, if you will.


End file.
